Solo

 

It is very common to feel a strong, even urgent, need for solitude and to turn inward after a cardiac arrest. Surviving such a life-altering event can leave you feeling deeply altered, making the quiet and stillness of being alone both necessary for processing and therapeutic for healing.

So since my 2nd retirement I've hit the trails and weights. My goal, to return to my fitness level of 2024 Summer when I hiked in Canada. So far it has come with some difficulty. I don't have a great deal of strength of stamina. In fact on my first effort, I was so weak my effort alarmed me. Today I did a gravel ride of 8 miles and could have gone farther. My climbs are still slow and I get quite tired. But I did the ride plus a small hike and paddled the kayak. Bit by bit I am improving. I haven't quite died trying yet but I'm pushing really hard. Sometimes I feel really drained.
 Goals:15 mile hiking, 30 mile gravel ride, 5k run

Janice Annette Castleberry

 

The cousins came to Sylacauga on January 28th to place the ashes of Jan in the Marble City Cemetery beside her parents. The long delay came as a result of health issues with her youngest sister which prevented travel from California and my own heart surgery. We had a pretty day and the help of a grave digger that once worked with our Uncle Jerry. A somber and emotional time that reminds all of us of the temporal nature of our experience.

Lifted

I was lifted from my death bed and returned to the living. Now I find some portions of my self didn't come with me. I had been waiting for some kind of epiphany or profound transformation but it hasn't materialized. Instead I am somewhat aware of gaps where some part of me once lived. It isn't an easy process to identify. Much like a thought that is lost to memory. In some ways I am vaguely aware of something  missing. In other ways, I am changed. Gaps being present or memories altered or simply absent. My impulse of late is not to look for these missing nodes, but to merely leave them behind on the grave that I was lifted from.

“silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.” Jalal ad-Din Muhammad ar-Rumi

Born:

in Balkh, Khwarazmian Empire, Afghanistan

August 12, 1207

Strawberry Pie

Shoney's Strawberry Pie

Prebake a 9" Pie shell at 450 degrees for 10 minutes. Set aside to cool

For the glaze

In a sauce pot add:

1 cup of sugar

1 cup of water

3 TBSP cornstarch

Bring to a boil and reduce heat

Add 1 package of Strawberry jello and wisk until it thickens and coats the back of a spoon.

Quarter 2 lbs of strawberries and mound into pie shell. Pour glaze over berries. Try to get glaze on each berry on the top. Place in refrigerator for 4 hours to set up the gelatin. Once the Pie is set, serve with a dollop of cool whip.

Tea Cake Cookies

Tea Cake Cookies

1 cup butter softened

2 cups sugar

3 eggs

2 tablespoonfuls buttermilk

5 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp vanilla

Combine butter and 2 cups sugar gradually beating well.

Add eggs 1 at a time beating well

Add buttermilk beating well

Combine flour and baking powder

Gradually add flour to creamed mixture

Stir in vanilla

Chill dough for several hours

Roll dough to 1/4 inch on lightly floured surface.

Cut with cookie cutters

Place 1 inch apart on lightly greased cookie sheet

Sprinkle with sugar

Baker at 400 degrees for 7 to 8 minutes and remove to cool

Makes 4 dozen cookies

Memento mori

On July 31st, I died....

After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark. 

I became aware again after a period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was an urgent process being transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.