As I went through college, I learned that the whole concept of Thanksgiving had been concocted so that it was more like a fantasy than reality. The Indians sitting down with settlers to have a big meal was simply false. The idea of being thankful is something I approve of. But we are often thankful to the wrong one. It was really something to go to your Grandparent's and Maw Maw Johnson's for Thanksgiving dinner. They really put on a feast. I've never seen the like of food and pie and cake and candy. those folks really knew how to eat. What they were doing was sharing the work and sweat and labor of their lives with the people they cared about. Every mouthful of food represented work that they could have kept for themselves that they shared. They traded all that work for the joy they shared with all of us eating till we thought we would explode. Our contentment was more important to them than their own. And what do we take away from these family get-togethers? Memories. It is interesting what things we remember. It is impossible to remember everything. Just try remembering what you did on this very day 10 years ago. You have an idea of what you must have done but unless something really different occured, you don't remember the specifics. What I remember about last Thanksgiving was David eating Cranberry sauce off a spoon for Paw Paw. But I remember pieces of many Thanksgiving dinners which form a composite memory of how good those days were. Having those good memories are important. We can build our own memories. What do we hold onto? Do we cling to the best of them?
Effigies are used in grieving by providing a tangible representation of what has been lost, allowing a mourner to connect with who or what they've lost , which can help with the process of acceptance and emotional expression, particularly when the loss is sudden or traumatic; they can be used to focus grief and memories around a physical likeness, offering a sense of continued presence even in their absence