Getting back to basics...

Over the past week I haven't been able to get all the exercise I am used to. Meanwhile I don't think I have been watching the calories as accurately as in the preceeding months. I think I can feel a little weight creeping back in the mid-section. Of course this means WAR! I am back watching every calories again. I cannot let the Holiday eating get away from me. I also cannot let circumstances get my exercise program down either. Tomorrow I have to get in some riding no matter what is happening. I need to come up with an alternate plan in case I am thwarted again. It can be jump rope or walking or spinning but I can't let that get me down again. Tomorrow Chris's family comes to see the newborn. I hope they remember to give David a measure of attention. I don't know why I fret over it so. It is difficult for all of them no matter how you slice it.

I have heard from Mitch, Randy, Joe, and Oakie now. They all send best wishes to Nikki, Chris, David, and Max. I wish I had the time and opportunity to sit down and have a long talk with either Joe or Oakie. I think they might be the best ones to listen and respond to what is
troubling me. The only problem would be the onus of troubling them with my worries. I don't feel good about unburdening concerns on someone who might feel enough empathy to have my problems become their burden as well. The truth is, I have talked these problems over so much, I don't think talking is an answer anymore. It leaves me feeling helpless. I must say the past couple of years have really humbled me. Whatever lofty goals I saw for the future have certainly been dashed. There is a sadness that has taken its place which resembles loneliness and resignation. It is a bitter result.

Effigy of Grief

Effigies are used in grieving by providing a tangible representation of what has been lost, allowing a mourner to connect with who or what they've lost , which can help with the process of acceptance and emotional expression, particularly when the loss is sudden or traumatic; they can be used to focus grief and memories around a physical likeness, offering a sense of continued presence even in their absence

Altras

So I've gotten around to buying those Altra Zero Drop running shoes and have begun the transition program to get used to them. My only problem so far has been that sore gluteus muscle I got from the scooter falling on me. But I've managed two days of running and will continue to extend my distance until I get up to something near the training program for the Half Marathon. I don't know if Joe has signed us up for the run or not.

There is an African proverb that says "when death finds you, may it find you alive".

On July 31st, I died.... After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark. I became aware again after a short period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was a lengthy process to be transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.

diddlee

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