Over the past week I haven't been able to get all the exercise I am used to. Meanwhile I don't think I have been watching the calories as accurately as in the preceeding months. I think I can feel a little weight creeping back in the mid-section. Of course this means WAR! I am back watching every calories again. I cannot let the Holiday eating get away from me. I also cannot let circumstances get my exercise program down either. Tomorrow I have to get in some riding no matter what is happening. I need to come up with an alternate plan in case I am thwarted again. It can be jump rope or walking or spinning but I can't let that get me down again. Tomorrow Chris's family comes to see the newborn. I hope they remember to give David a measure of attention. I don't know why I fret over it so. It is difficult for all of them no matter how you slice it.I have heard from Mitch, Randy, Joe, and Oakie now. They all send best wishes to Nikki, Chris, David, and Max. I wish I had the time and opportunity to sit down and have a long talk with either Joe or Oakie. I think they might be the best ones to listen and respond to what is
troubling me. The only problem would be the onus of troubling them with my worries. I don't feel good about unburdening concerns on someone who might feel enough empathy to have my problems become their burden as well. The truth is, I have talked these problems over so much, I don't think talking is an answer anymore. It leaves me feeling helpless. I must say the past couple of years have really humbled me. Whatever lofty goals I saw for the future have certainly been dashed. There is a sadness that has taken its place which resembles loneliness and resignation. It is a bitter result.