30 days to Safari and 21 days to ATW. We got in a great ride this morning. It wasn't a long ride or particularly fast but the day was really special. We left around 8:30 and it was already as warm as it used to be in the middle of the day. The sky was blue with no clouds in sight. Lots of trees and flowers were blooming. It really was a great day to get out on the bicycle and ride. Next week we go to Cheaha for a Alabama Hiking Trail Society conference. There will be guest speakers and exhibits from hikers and outdoor people. It should be a great getaway.
Really Useful Attitudes:
* Warm
* Enthusiastic
* Confident
* Supportive
* Relaxed
* Obliging
* Curious
* Resourceful
* Comfortable
* Helpful
* Engaging
* Laid back
* Patient
* Welcoming
* Cheery
* Interested
Really Useless Attitudes:
* Angry
* Sarcastic
* Impatient
* Bored
* Disrespectful
* Conceited
* Pessimistic
* Anxious
* Rude
* suspicious
* Vengeful
* Afraid
* Self-conscious
* Mocking
* Embarrassed
* Dutiful
HOW TO SYNCHRONIZE
Try to start synchronizing within seconds of making a new acquaintance. Five stages of a successful first encounter...
Use open body language. Uncover your heart by leaving your jacket or coat unbuttoned and facing the other person.
Be first with eye contact. Look the other person straight in the eye.
Beam a smile.
Be the first to identify yourself with a pleasant, “Hi! I’m Nick.”
Lean subtly toward the other person to show your interest and openness, and begin to synchronize.
Pick up on the other person’s feelings and identify with him by synchronizing your movements, breathing patterns and expressions. Use your voice to reflect back the mood conveyed by his voice. Don’t copy him clumsily, but notice his posture, gestures, head and body movements and facial expressions and mirror them.
Particularly important: Mirror his voice tone, volume, speed and pitch.
SECRETS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Get the other person to start talking openly so you can find out what matters to him and synchronize yourself accordingly.
Begin by asking open questions -- those that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” but encourage the other person to open up and reveal himself.
Key words: Who? When? What? Why? Where? How?
Keep the conversation going by answering a question with another question.
Sensory preferences: If you really want to communicate with other people on their own wavelengths, learn to rapidly figure out their sensory preferences. People view the world in one of three basic ways...
Visuals are motivated primarily by what they see.
Auditories by what they hear.
Kinesthetics by physical sensations.
You can quickly recognize which group people belong to by listening to the vocabulary they use. Examples...
Visuals tend to talk fast, wave their hands, look up with their eyes, dress well and say things like, “I’d like to see proof of that.”
Auditories tend to talk at a medium speed, have melodic and expressive voices, gesture and move their eyes from side to side and will say, “I hear that.”
Kinesthetics tend to speak very slowly and with great detail, look down as they speak, wear textured clothing, and talk about how they feel.
Detecting sensory preferences requires you to pay close attention to others, which in itself makes you a more people-oriented, likeable person. And when you learn how to synchronize with people using the vocabulary they feel comfortable with, your ability to develop rapport with almost anyone will grow.
How to Start a Conversation & Make Friends
1. Introduce yourself to others.
2. Be the first to say hello.
3. Take risks. Don't anticipate rejection.
4. Display your sense of humor.
5. Be receptive to new ideas.
6. Ask a person's name if you have forgotten it.
7. Show curiosity and interest in others.
8. Tell others about the important events in your life.
9. Tell others about yourself and what you enjoy doing.
10. Make an extra effort to remember people's names.
11. Show others you are a good listener by paraphrasing their comments.
12. Communicate with enthusiasm and interest.
13. Go out of your way to meet new people.
14. Accept a person's right to be an individual.
15. Let the natural you come out when talking to others.
16. Be able to tell others what you do in a few short sentences.
17. Reintroduce yourself to someone who has forgotten your name.
18. Tell others something interesting or challenging about what you do.
19. Be aware of open and closed body language.
20. Use eye contact and smiling as your first contact with people.
21. Greet people you see regularly.
22. Seek common interests, goals, and experiences in those you meet.
23. Make an effort to help people if you can.
24. Let others play the expert.
25. Be open to answering ritual questions.
26. Get enthusiastic about other people's interests.
27. Balance talking and listening in a conversation.
28. Be able to speak about a variety of topics and subjects.
29. Keep abreast of current events and the issues that affect our lives.
30. Be open to other people's opinions and feelings.
31. Express your feelings, opinions, and emotions to others.
32. Use "I" when revealing your feelings concerning a personal topic.
33. Don't use the word "you" when you mean "I."
34. Show others that you are enjoying the conversation with them.
35. Invite people to join you for dinner, social events, or other activities.
36. Keep in touch with friends and acquaintances.
37. Ask other people for their opinions.
38. Look for the positive in those you meet.
39. Start and end conversation with a person's name and a handshake.
40. Take time to be cordial with your neighbors and coworkers.
41. Let others know that you want to get to know them better.
42. Ask others about things they have told you in previous conversations.
43. Listen carefully for free information.
44. Be tolerant of other people's beliefs if they differ from yours.
45. Change the topic of conversation when it has run its course.
46. Always search for the other person's "hot button."
47. Compliment others about what they are wearing, doing, or saying.
48. Encourage others to talk with you by sending out receptive signals.
49. Make an effort to see and talk to people you enjoy being with.
50. When you tell a story, present the main point first, and then add the supporting details based on the other person's interest in the topic.
Really Useful Attitudes:
* Warm
* Enthusiastic
* Confident
* Supportive
* Relaxed
* Obliging
* Curious
* Resourceful
* Comfortable
* Helpful
* Engaging
* Laid back
* Patient
* Welcoming
* Cheery
* Interested
Really Useless Attitudes:
* Angry
* Sarcastic
* Impatient
* Bored
* Disrespectful
* Conceited
* Pessimistic
* Anxious
* Rude
* suspicious
* Vengeful
* Afraid
* Self-conscious
* Mocking
* Embarrassed
* Dutiful
HOW TO SYNCHRONIZE
Try to start synchronizing within seconds of making a new acquaintance. Five stages of a successful first encounter...
Use open body language. Uncover your heart by leaving your jacket or coat unbuttoned and facing the other person.
Be first with eye contact. Look the other person straight in the eye.
Beam a smile.
Be the first to identify yourself with a pleasant, “Hi! I’m Nick.”
Lean subtly toward the other person to show your interest and openness, and begin to synchronize.
Pick up on the other person’s feelings and identify with him by synchronizing your movements, breathing patterns and expressions. Use your voice to reflect back the mood conveyed by his voice. Don’t copy him clumsily, but notice his posture, gestures, head and body movements and facial expressions and mirror them.
Particularly important: Mirror his voice tone, volume, speed and pitch.
SECRETS OF EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION
Get the other person to start talking openly so you can find out what matters to him and synchronize yourself accordingly.
Begin by asking open questions -- those that cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” but encourage the other person to open up and reveal himself.
Key words: Who? When? What? Why? Where? How?
Keep the conversation going by answering a question with another question.
Sensory preferences: If you really want to communicate with other people on their own wavelengths, learn to rapidly figure out their sensory preferences. People view the world in one of three basic ways...
Visuals are motivated primarily by what they see.
Auditories by what they hear.
Kinesthetics by physical sensations.
You can quickly recognize which group people belong to by listening to the vocabulary they use. Examples...
Visuals tend to talk fast, wave their hands, look up with their eyes, dress well and say things like, “I’d like to see proof of that.”
Auditories tend to talk at a medium speed, have melodic and expressive voices, gesture and move their eyes from side to side and will say, “I hear that.”
Kinesthetics tend to speak very slowly and with great detail, look down as they speak, wear textured clothing, and talk about how they feel.
Detecting sensory preferences requires you to pay close attention to others, which in itself makes you a more people-oriented, likeable person. And when you learn how to synchronize with people using the vocabulary they feel comfortable with, your ability to develop rapport with almost anyone will grow.
How to Start a Conversation & Make Friends
1. Introduce yourself to others.
2. Be the first to say hello.
3. Take risks. Don't anticipate rejection.
4. Display your sense of humor.
5. Be receptive to new ideas.
6. Ask a person's name if you have forgotten it.
7. Show curiosity and interest in others.
8. Tell others about the important events in your life.
9. Tell others about yourself and what you enjoy doing.
10. Make an extra effort to remember people's names.
11. Show others you are a good listener by paraphrasing their comments.
12. Communicate with enthusiasm and interest.
13. Go out of your way to meet new people.
14. Accept a person's right to be an individual.
15. Let the natural you come out when talking to others.
16. Be able to tell others what you do in a few short sentences.
17. Reintroduce yourself to someone who has forgotten your name.
18. Tell others something interesting or challenging about what you do.
19. Be aware of open and closed body language.
20. Use eye contact and smiling as your first contact with people.
21. Greet people you see regularly.
22. Seek common interests, goals, and experiences in those you meet.
23. Make an effort to help people if you can.
24. Let others play the expert.
25. Be open to answering ritual questions.
26. Get enthusiastic about other people's interests.
27. Balance talking and listening in a conversation.
28. Be able to speak about a variety of topics and subjects.
29. Keep abreast of current events and the issues that affect our lives.
30. Be open to other people's opinions and feelings.
31. Express your feelings, opinions, and emotions to others.
32. Use "I" when revealing your feelings concerning a personal topic.
33. Don't use the word "you" when you mean "I."
34. Show others that you are enjoying the conversation with them.
35. Invite people to join you for dinner, social events, or other activities.
36. Keep in touch with friends and acquaintances.
37. Ask other people for their opinions.
38. Look for the positive in those you meet.
39. Start and end conversation with a person's name and a handshake.
40. Take time to be cordial with your neighbors and coworkers.
41. Let others know that you want to get to know them better.
42. Ask others about things they have told you in previous conversations.
43. Listen carefully for free information.
44. Be tolerant of other people's beliefs if they differ from yours.
45. Change the topic of conversation when it has run its course.
46. Always search for the other person's "hot button."
47. Compliment others about what they are wearing, doing, or saying.
48. Encourage others to talk with you by sending out receptive signals.
49. Make an effort to see and talk to people you enjoy being with.
50. When you tell a story, present the main point first, and then add the supporting details based on the other person's interest in the topic.