Tomorrow is my birthday...

Bev tells me that the children are coming to the house for lunch because of my birthday. This is a surprise. It may simply be part of those feelings I've had trouble coping with but I haven't felt like my life has meant very much. It has been a point of ironic humor that my nickname is "diddlee". My own diagnosis of my problem calls for me to attempt to be positive, confident, and heroic as I attempt to remedy my emotional state. I have faced a world of disappointment over the past 6 years. It is time to let it go and move forward. Past time. There is wonder left to find in the future. There is no way to know what is waiting ahead. Now is all I have. I have to stop wasting it.

Joe called to wish me well but when he called I was occupied in the bathroom and missed it. Maybe he can call back tomorrow night. He had called the house first and spoken with Bev. I really appreciate the friendship I have with him. Of all the cousins, he is the best guy to spend time with.

Effigy of Grief

Effigies are used in grieving by providing a tangible representation of what has been lost, allowing a mourner to connect with who or what they've lost , which can help with the process of acceptance and emotional expression, particularly when the loss is sudden or traumatic; they can be used to focus grief and memories around a physical likeness, offering a sense of continued presence even in their absence

Spock

Spock is my favorite character in all fiction. A character who bridged the gap between two worlds and faced disdain from each. Who strove for excellence and exemplified strength, character, intelligence, and control. His nearly emotionless demeanor was a perfect foil for those who would attempt to intimidate or insult him. It was a style I would endeavor to imitate to thwart those attempting to insult, demean, or scare me in my own young life. I bought this little figure to remind me to guard against letting my defenses down and allowing emotional hurt to strike me. But I doubt my recollection of Spock will work for me again. It was the last gift from my past. Perhaps I will find another reservoir of strength.

Island Walk

I always try to help Rachael with Hubbard/Rockford if asked. They had me down for 3 days but at last minute asked for the other day. Work at Rockford is slow so working isn't hard, but not following my usual routine tired me out a bit. I still had some work I could take care of up in Cullman. Some bushhog work and other little items but the high temps held me back a bit. I did ride my bike a little and got in some of my walking in addition to some chores. Max needed to be delivered to Charlotte, SC for his drum major camp. I volunteered to take him. I was glad to be able to perform this chore for him but the long trip up and back combined with extra heavy traffic in the Atlanta are, which extended to within 30 miles of Alabama, combined to really tire me out. There had been a problem with my left rear wisdom tooth for over a year, so I decided I should get it taken care of before I wound up isolated somewhere in PEI. The extraction didn't appear to be problematic until just be...

diddlee

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