Skip to main content

the reification of the zero

Image
By


I wanted to share with you about a gift I received this Christmas. You can see it at this link. I received...

.... NOTHING.

It seemed like the perfect gift for the person who has everything. It is profound. It is amazing really. Think of the most valuable thing in the world, or even the universe. Then of course, what could be more valuable, NOTHING, right! What is better than wonderful friends and a family that loves you? Uh, NOTHING? But I realize that that this stuff could be dangerous. What if someone were to eat this. I've heard of people who ate NOTHING and died! I don't know how much NOTHING it took and I really don't know how much NOTHING is in that package. I have to be concerned about handling this stuff properly. Some people think NOTHING is "sacred". What if I were to offend someone? What if it has an effect on my personality. If you asked me what could make me lie or cheat or steal or what would make me betray my sacred word? OH MY GOODNESS! NOTHING!

Then I saw it! There on the back of the package in small print it says... made in China. (I thought EVERYTHING was made in China not NOTHING?) You know this could be part of a sinister plot. First they exposed us to lead in kids toys and toothpaste, now NOTHING. That's got me spooked so right now I am looking for a good place to put my NOTHING.

___________________________________________________________________

After much thought I think the best plan is to put the NOTHING in a secure place considering the potential for disaster it represents. Looking at the package closely, I see that there is a crack in the container and now I don't know if NOTHING is in there or not. And I'm not sure how to go about catching it. Think about it, what travels faster than the speed of light? In desperation I vacuumed the whole living room and then swept a couple of times. On my last sweeping, to my great relief, I found NOTHING in the dust pan. So not taking any chances, I threw the whole thing in a trash bag, tied it up, and tossed it in the garbage can outside just to be safe. I think that should take care of it, we can all breathe a sigh of relief.


I've done my best to rid us of this menace, but if NOTHING happens to any of you in this coming year, don't come blaming me!

Popular posts from this blog

Catching up

By
  After my recovery period for Covid, I went to Cullman on Monday the 8th and started catching up on the mowing and farm stuff. Pretty much everything needed mowing. The big tractor made short work on the main north fields and David helped me with the field across from the pond.  The grass had grown quite long and with the two week absence, I simply started and mowed all of them. There is always some mowing to do. At least no trees had fallen. There were some indoor projects pending. A couple of shower fixtures had to be replaced. The screen door latch didn't hold and had to be improved. The old JD mower needed a bit of tuning so it would climb better and the mowing deck replaced. And the garden needed to be disked and more corn and okra planted.  David should have had a shot on the groundhog at the old house but forgot to check his ammo. The hammer fell on an empty chamber. I got the conibear traps out and caught one of the groundhogs that lived by the spring. David had ...
Read more

Spock

By
Spock is my favorite character in all fiction. A character who bridged the gap between two worlds and faced disdain from each. Who strove for excellence and exemplified strength, character, intelligence, and control. His nearly emotionless demeanor was a perfect foil for those who would attempt to intimidate or insult him. It was a style I would endeavor to imitate to thwart those attempting to insult, demean, or scare me in my own young life. I bought this little figure to remind me to guard against letting my defenses down and allowing emotional hurt to strike me.
Read more

Counting down to Florida Bike Safari...

By
Darn cold weather! I got up this morning to some cool north breezes. It made me decide to hike rather than bike. Next week I will do the pm rides for the bike club. In the mornings, if there is time, I will get in some climbing out toward Bull Gap. I need to do the climbs more than the long rides. I seem to be stronger on the hills than last year. Maybe it is the 35 lbs I have dropped. That is almost equal to 2 bikes. I also dropped about 7 or 8 from the new bike. Combined that puts me 42 pounds of weight saved which would be a substantial load to pull up the hill. Now I just need to train those leg muscles to pound out the climbs. The only way I see to do that is to just do hills! I need to remember some small but important things when I pack for the trip. I will need to be sure I have a wrench to change the tire with. I need to check the spare to make sure it holds air. I will need to pack the charger just in case. A long extension cord might be nice. Sunscreen and bug repel will be ...
Read more