Something missing...

There is a silence amidst the usual conversation of the holidays this year. It is as noticeable as a missing note in a familiar piece of music. And the one who notices it most is my Mother. Her brother, Jean, passed away a few months ago. We had expected the news. He had been unwell for some time and had brushes with his heart several times. But he had been a stalwart friend through all of it, and throughout his life for that matter. He was faithful to visit. He was faithful to phone. I could count on hearing what was new with Uncle Jean in my conversations with Mother. And, although I never understood why, they loved their trips to the casino together. To say she misses him is an understatement. The years have taken so many from our family. Some taken in their time. Others taken before. But this loss is acute. And it has left a very specific loneliness that isn't relieved with other company.

Facebook

Two days ago the problem snapped into sharp focus. I posted a comment on Facebook meant to be humorous. It was a mistake on so many levels. The idea was to focus attention on my friend group's dislike of the President. It used a snippet of a bible verse, taken out of context of course. It was the same kind of humor made when we speak of the wise men being firemen because they came from "a far". Or the Honda being the oldest auto manufacturer because the wise men came in one Accord. Immediately everyone misunderstood the post. Many didn't realize what the verse said so they simply took the "Pray for Obama" at face value. That's fine. I suppose it would be better to produce some kindly thought toward the man. Another took the following verse into context and took offense at the quip. It disappoints me. Firstly that the larger group falls easy prey to anything that hints of faith, or prayer or worship. That no offense would be taken to "holy writings" that include an imprecation meant sincerely in the past toward some other father, husband, person eludes me. That old saying tells us not to discuss religion, politics or money. But taking on 2 of the 3 in a somewhat irreverent manner was asking for it. I had, for a time, experimented with various status entries to see which ones elicited response. That was entertaining for a while. Somewhat manipulative but fun. But I realized that I was wasting a colossal amount of time and thought on it and that was a problem. The misunderstanding of the humor made me think about what level of understanding, or misunderstanding, was being passed back and forth between "friends."

So I disabled the account....

Facebook wasn't all bad. It was a great time filler. I'll miss the updates from family. Some of them were interesting. Some of the postings were enigmatic (by intent) and rarely adequately explained. Lots of "friends" were busy with all kinds of applications that were huge time wasters. I was always getting invitations to join them in their imaginary stores, wars, farms, etc.. It was fascinating to follow the moment to moment updates from various people's lives. It was hypnotic. It was almost impossible to leave alone. And I noticed that if you mentioned something you read out of Facebook to someone face to face, they always seemed a little surprised. It was as if the Facebook persona was a separate thing and mentioning things in a real world conversation was a little off-limits. Out of it I made contact with a few interesting people. The most surprising person met through it was Kathy English. She was surprised I offered her a "friend" request since, as she put it, "she treated me like shit back then." Out of the batch of friends caught by my Facebook browser, she was one of the most intelligent prospects. Someone with whom you could have real conversation. But I am thinking almost no chance of any real friendship through "that" medium.

Goodbye Facebook.

Familiar strangers...

"What am I doing here?," I asked myself as I crossed the street to the high school reunion. After 35 years, I had decided to participate. No backing out. Bev and I were all dressed up and the money had been paid. I had even helped with decorations. Many of my classmates had been in touch with me through Facebook for the past few months. The prospect had held excitement for a time, but now I wasn't so sure. I went on inside. Was it what I expected? No. What did I expect? The hall was filled with so many strangers who were yet familiar. Many of them had changed so much it required a look at a name badge. Others hardly seemed to have changed at all. The young people from 1974 had become a collection of polite middle aged folks. Sometimes, in conversation with someone, a glimpse of the former self came through. It could be a facial expression or just the inflection in a voice. These familiar strangers were gracious, elegant, friendly, warm, welcoming, and charming. These good folks I shared and share a place and time with.

Back in 74, for better or worse, we contributed to the tapestry of Sylacauga High School. Some enjoyed their role then, others not so much. Now we had all moved into the bigger tapestries of our families, our jobs, our missions and our communities. We had been the establishment and now were moving on to what lies ahead and beyond.

Enthused.....

Chris H. certainly seemed excited when he called about his running shoes the other day. He is ready to go full bore for that sprint triathlon in the spring. He got me thinking about it too. I am wondering if my knee will give me too much pain when I start back running. Here it is time for another week of strength training. Maybe I can balance the strength of my leg muscles over a little more time and reduce that painful chondromalacia. I still haven't decided about the swimming part yet. Finding a spot to do that part of the training is more difficult. I'll probably end up swimming in Lake Martin.

Before we do the event, I am planning for us to do a trial run in our own lake around here. A home grown variety. We can invite everyone interested and just do it on our own. 

The redone mountain bike is great. I am really enjoying riding the hardtail. It is just what I've been needing.

Family Portrait

Getting set to start triathlon training

There is a lot to getting into this triathlon business than I first bargained for. Finding a place to swim is a bit of a problem. We can drive to the YMCA in Greystone but that involves $41 a month and 90 minutes of driving each time. Talladega is a little closer and cheaper, but the pool is very small. I could use someone's backyard pool but those aren't even 25 yards long. It seems my best bet is to get a wetsuit and swim in the lake or a pond. The $200 I'll spend would have been spent on gas and time anyway. But if my knees don't hold up, I'll be spent that money for no good reason. But that isn't all. I still will need goggles and a tri-suit. The bike and shoes I have. If I am going to do this, I'd best get started.