Suffering...

Buddhists believe suffering comes from clinging to things which are impermanent. Of course it isn't that simple. At the very least there have to be many kinds of suffering many of which simply ARE. I doubt people dying from disease are clinging to the source of their suffering. Old age comes as a natural consequence and can't be said to be a result of clinging to something unless you stretch the example and say these folks are clinging to their lives. So the simple version is that SOME kinds of suffering result from clinging to things which we shouldn't. But other kinds of suffering have to be overcome to create other gains. Take cycling for example. Climbing those hills around Cheaha will absolutely cause you to suffer! By enduring the suffering, one gains strength and either will endure less suffering to perform the same task (or possible be able to suffer at an even greater level). It becomes a necessity for a person to understand which kind of suffering is necessary or beneficial and which kind of suffering is needless. That part takes wisdom or experience. It seems reasonable that a goal of ending suffering is pointless. Suffering is a necessity. Suffering doesn't always produce ill. An organism will perceive pain! Any organism which cannot perceive pain won't last long. So for my own purposes I have to believe the Buddha means pointless suffering. Suffering we create because our expectations don't match reality. Knowing the difference isn't easy. Unfortunately there isn't a simple rule to follow. Any anguish we feel should be subject to critique. We have to be pragmatic about our feelings and their cause. In these matters our first reaction should be analysis, not anguish. If the feelings came from failed expectation or change, we have to manage our feelings.

Change is constant....

I've been interested in Buddhism since my college days. But I never saw it as a religion. I guess my family being Christians gave me a mind set of what a religion was. Since there was no deity, it couldn't be a religion. It could be a philosophy! Moreover it seemed to me that it was merely observations. It also seemed to me that many people who subscribed to it got caught up in many of the same traps that religions have. One of them was to create a sophisticated language to describe both it and the world. This is one way humanity deludes itself. By assigning a name to everything we presume to have knowledge of these same things. At best it is an attempt to allow all of us to compare our experience. At worst, it is a substitute for the essence of the experience itself. What I find so interesting is how well it fits reality as we know it. The first noble truth is that nothing lasts. Feelings, material things, worlds, universes, people... all share this quality. Everything that exists has been something else before, and somthing else before that and so on. When Sagan talked about people being made of "star stuff" it is eloquent testimony to the fact that everything becomes something else. Mighty stars become the stuff of mosquitos and humming birds. The Buddha said we suffer because we cling to things which simply cannot last. I suppose we could cling to the things whose permanence is greater than our own. But all the things that move within our timeline will change, rot, decay, vanish no matter what we do. If we can't let go of them at the proper time, we will of course feel loss and pain. The Buddha said if we want to stop suffering, we much disconnect from desires for the things which cannot last. I would guess that the greatest thing suffered by humanity is the loss of self in death. Whether that be loved ones or ourselves, this is the greatest loss we face. It isn't logical that we ignore how temporary we are. In fact many of us are gone long before our biological processes cease.

I read an interesting discussion on whether or not a person is the same from cradle to grave. It put it in the perspective of repairing a boat. Suppose you take a nice boat that you named "Jenny" and over the years as damage and decay are repaired, you move the old removed parts into a shed and replace them with new. Suppose at some point in time, you have replaced all the material of the boat and now have all the pieces of the original boat in the shed. Which one is the boat? Is "jenny" in the shed or is she at the pier? The same is true for our bodies. It is commonly believed that almost all the constituents of the body are completely replaced about every 7 to 8 years. Look at the difference between an infant and a senior citizen.
Is this the same person? The Senior won't look the same or have the same memories as a child. Every atom in his or her body will have been replaced over and over. In Buddhism it is believed that there is no self and that many things come together to produce personhood. A person is more than a body or a mind. If a person is merely a collection of molecules carrying out elaborate chemical processes over the course of years what happens when all these molecules are replaced again and again and in time cease to function as they once did?

But if all this philosophy was teaching is detachment, why bother? It is when we are engaged with life that we are fulfilled. The lesson I get is to expect and embrace the changes that must come. In the meantime it behoves us to value and cherish things when they come along realizing they don't last! It should make them more precious to us. I have been trying to live in the moment. This attitude would require me to make the most of moments as they come along and not to be overly anxious about what the future may bring or take away.
..............I'm working on it!

Mid-life....

Deep thinking...

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.
Henry David Thoreau

I was looking for a remembered quotation about solitude. My first thought was to look to Thoreau. He often speaks of it. I found this quotation instead. I think it was appropriate of Ken Kifer to celebrate Thoreau. Both lead simple lives. This simplicity gave opportunity for many hours of thinking. That is a feature limited by our celebrated lives of television, fast food, movies, cell phones, internet, and a clocked work schedule. There are times when I wish I could get away from it all. The fact is I am already as far away from it all as I can be and still do what I do. There is so little to my job, I should be ashamed for not appreciating it more. Still there is moments when responsibility is high. At those moments, sometimes, I wish I was living in a cabin and growing my food.

Bev and I resumed our riding this morning. We did a little 26 mile loop down by Cedar Creek. The click came back in the bike. I guess I'll have to take something apart to get at the cause. There are lots of little things that will always need attention.

Diddlee

I am really tired today. After riding the 50 mile option Saturday with Bev, and 33 miles at a quick pace yesterday with Kelly, Paul, and Eric, I am bushed today. There is a threat of rain this morning so I don't know if we will get in our usual morning ride. Perhaps that will be okay. Later in the week, the nights are expected to get very cool. A low in the 40's is expected for Thursday morning. That will really feel cool.

A view from the top...

Today was Bev's birthday. Last night I let her open her new hiking clothes from Campmor. Then this morning we hiked up to Bull's Bluff for a change of exercise pace. The trail was in pretty grown up shape. There is a spot where a fire break was cut and it messed up the path of the trail. I would guess that I need to devote some time to getting the trail opened up. That spot where they pushed the trash over the trail needs to be opened back up. I think we need to go below the old site and get it further down the hill. There are some blow downs but I'll probably leave most of it in place so as to slow the horse traffic. I wonder which would clear the trail better, a sling blade or a string trimmer. Either way it will be lots of work. I still need to get up to my section and clear it out. Maybe I could start there and work my way down.

Bev has made progress in her fitness. Despite her head cold, she made the climb much better than last summer. Right now her weight is still hovering around 180, but I believe as we extend our distances and effort, she will begin to make more progress. The important thing is to enjoy the process. I think the cycling is an enjoyment to her. That means she will be more likely to continue it. I think we will take the mountain bikes on a ride sometime soon. It should be somewhere pretty flat at first. Just a woods road or something.

If we are keeping David next week I think I should get the boat ready to take out on the lake. It is high time for some fishing action. I don't know if he would like it but it is finally getting cool enough to fish again.

Born to be mild...

As I was riding into work on the scooter today, I saw a fellow lean out of his truck watching me pass. I thought about the contrast to the tatooed, leather-clad motorcycle rider and my own polo-shirted, white tennis shoed self. I then thought of the old anthem of motocyclists "Born to be Wild" Only in my case I should change the wild to mild. I am enjoying the rides each evening to and from home. I suppose I will keep on riding even though gas has gone down in price.

Bev and I rode the tandem with the club this morning. Paul, Eric, Kelly, and we rode up toward Rendelia and back down Riser's Mill to town. Even though Bev was pretty stuffy with a cold, she did fine. I think she needed some rest this afternoon but that is a good indicator of improving fitness level and fat burning.

I made her birthday pies today. I made a couple of Key Lime Pies and will bring out the moisture management clothes tonight. Our plan is to camp at Monte Sano next week. There is an art show there. I hope we can get a reservation. If not, we may have to go to a plan B type of ride.

Mother and Bev have gone to see Uncle Jean. They suspect he has PE's in both lungs. His serum sodium is so low they are calling in an endocrinologist. He is really having difficulty. It is good that she is going up to see him. Although he came through the operation very well, I am concerned with these new set-backs.

Changing times....

Change bring stress. People don't take change well and the mental inerta that resists the change produces turmoil. I have found myself no different. My initial response to the new duties has been somewhat negative. I think this might be due to the additional revelations and worries that my life has inflicted of late. But the reality is that this change is inevitable. I will not have the cushy job I started with but it might work out ok. I should keep my eyes and ears open in any event. The thing I don't want to lose right now is my abundant off time. Although working till midnight is a bit long, I have mornings off and every other week off. That is hard to beat. I can't adjust the days off as much as I'd like but hey...

We heard that Uncle Jean probably has PE's in both lungs. No wonder he can't breathe. I am concerned for him. I should probably get up to see him soon. Maybe we can wait till Monday. I sent Joe an email just to keep him informed. He has really hit a low point in the past couple of days.

Bev got out and rode with me this morning despite her sore throat! Imagine that. We will probably do the same in the morning. Eric has a big ride planned leaving Vicious around 8:30. We can do a portion of the ride and come back early. I doubt Bev would be up for more than a 30 miler. That would take around 2 hrs and get us back in time for lunch.

Bev is riding so much better...

Yesterday Bev and I had only enough time for our usual short ride down Oden's Mill Road and back home. Once we had returned, she said we won't have to baby sit tomorrow so we can do a longer ride. I was pleased and surprised! SO this morning we mounted up and rode down to Fayetteville and around Jimmy Pursell's farm over the route the bike race was to follow. That road was rather bumpy compared to our other roads we travel so I slowed down and took it easier. It was a little hillier than other roads we ride too. Bev kept commenting on how good she felt, how her legs weren't tired, and her backside wasn't getting as sore. Once we got back to the house, she said she finds she has better energy and less stiffness as a result of the exercise. This is all good news and just what I expected. If she weighs tomorrow and has made progress with weight loss, everything will fall into place. The problem lies with the change of weather and coming dark days. She will have to get into spin class and maintain what she has started. Who knows? She could make such wonderful progress she could be ahead of me in fitness by next spring!

Now Bev wants to ride further...

Over the weekend Bev and I attended the Autumn Classic in Montgomery. She rode the 30 mile option, then we set out and added another 8 miles to the ride. Now she asks if she would be able to do a 60 mile ride. I say, "No problem!". All she needs to do is to stay in the seat and pedal and endure the discomfort on her rear and you have it.

Today she went for a ride with her new cycling shoes. I think they helped her a lot. I believe I could tell she was putting in a lot more energy with each stroke of the pedals. That is always nice! We did the little circle down around Oden's Mill Road and up past the airport with ease. She said she was less tired from that trip than she recalled. Now she is saying we need to do a longer route tomorrow. I need to think up an option for us tonight.

Her birthday is coming up Sunday. I had thought about getting her some cycling clothes or some hiking clothes but have waited too long to get them online. Our trip to Birmingham didn't produce anything because Roger's Trading Post had closed. I thought she would like some moisture managment underclothes for hiking. I can still get them from Campmor. I may ask Billy about some cycling shorts.

...thinking the unthinkable...
Saturday night I had to deal with the most alarming possibility I had not dreamed of. It isn't something to blog. It was a scenario where you pray you say and do the right thing but realize that you will be wrong no matter which choice you make. I only hope I was wise enough. It really hurt me.