Weary of the gap...

Lately I have increased my activity level in order to burn sufficient calories to effect a weight loss. This is needed because of my loss of resolve back in April which has added back 12 lbs to my frame. But it isn't the only reason I'm active. The benefits of action include the release of brain chemicals which increase my overall happiness. Sounds rather clinical. The net effect is enjoyment. When I'm not completely exhausted, that is. In my other free time, I study almost every subject I can get my hands on. Lately I've read a lot about theory of mind, history of Christianity, stellar nucleosynthesis, astronomy, evolution, abiogenesis, skepticism, rationalism... and many other things as my meanderings lead me. But the gap between the thinking side of my life and the doing side has grown quite wide. I am enjoying the intellectual side less and less and enjoying the physical side more and more. Is it time to move on somewhat from those pursuits? The intellectual ones, not the physical ones.

Live each season as it passes...

Thoreau might be referring to the divisions of each year, but to me, he's reminding me to take from each age of life all it has to offer. And he reminds me to accept the changes that come with those times. I'll enjoy each of my life seasons only once. I'm happy my memory permits me to relive moments of them. The season before me, though it will be my last, can be the best.

Today is day 3 of my resolve to get my eating back under control. I have thru Sunday to use this particular schedule. Then we head down to Panama City Beach for a week. There, I can expect my resolve to be tempted. But I am trying to bear up under the discipline of running and riding. It leaves me very tired. Tomorrow we go look at a camping trailer. If it is what I expect, I'll own a camping trailer soon. Then I'll need a truck. Perhaps I could trade for it. I have studied the possibility of changing out the rear end for a lower ration but it looks problematic. I will probably go with a newer truck.

Finding a little strength...

This morning I did a 5.5 mile run on the Sylaward Trail. While I ran, Bev walked with Meena. My legs felt very heavy. Perhaps because I rode a long ride Monday or maybe because I've limited my calories a good bit yesterday. But with the additional calorie burn, I am getting back to my plan to resume weight loss. That's important because I've blown my plan to reduce all summer. That seems to happen to me every year. I do very well up until late Spring, then my resolve dissolves and I gain it again. By Autumn, I'm back up to 200+ and have it to lose all over again. My usual pattern is to postpone it until after the Holidays so I can gorge on the goodies that everyone makes. I had thought I might be able to get my weight lower and train up to the marathon in Seattle for Thanksgiving. That seems out of the question. I just can't devote enough time to running to get that done. Perhaps by next summer for the R&R event in June. But a lesser goal which I think I can accomplish might be to train up to running the Sylaward. I have an idea that if I could do the entire trail on at least 1 weekend a month regardless of whether or not I run every step, I can eventually do the whole run. But that still leaves me short of the 32+ I'd have to run if I did Todd's February run. Still I'd like to accomplish that.

Orbital path....

It has seemed to me that the living of one's life is like a long period comet. As children we enjoy our perihelion. We shine splendidly with our glory in full view, but as we pass the sun, as we must, our glory fades. We return into the cold and darkness that awaits. The sun seems to retreat further and further from our view. And we plunge outward ever farther from its warmth. Those with us on our journey show the signs of this advance. We are slower to see it in ourselves, but it is inevitable and just as obvious.

Today I am trying to get back into my weight loss mode. I did 27 miles on Blue and ate very lightly. Tomorrow, I'll do a morning run while Bev and Meena do a walk, then we meet with David and Max for a lunch. Paul is home from his surgery. He must have been on pain meds because he seemed a little fuzzy in his texts tonight. I hope he heeds my warning about doing too much. He will have more pain tomorrow and a bit more day after tomorrow before it begins to get better.

Time is dragging here tonight. Probably because census is low. Not many things to watch of take care of. I'm a little tired tonight as I usually am after my hectic week off. Soon it will be home and rest to get up and do this all over again. Endless repetition.

Avondale burning....

About 1pm today we became aware of a fire at the old Avondale Mills building. Its been deserted for some time. Salvage crews have been working to extract some value from the heart pine construction and old machinery. Apparently lightning struck it setting off a blaze that couldn't be contained. All that old dry wood, cotton lint, and grease made for a combustible mix. But it is sad to see it lost. My Dad started there in 1955 as a floor sweeper. He worked with Avondale till his death in 1984. So many people in this community drew their livelihood from that company. Sad.

Feeling frustrated....

Yesterday I was feeling very frustrated by everything. I was totally out of sorts, frustrated by the least things, and cynical toward life. Thank goodness I recognized this for what it was and broke out of that downward spiral. I can blame it on being tired after a week-long effort finished with less than perfect sleep, but that would be too easy. It is more likely that the things I see coming ramped up my internal resistance to change and my confidence became a little shaky with respect to my ability to handle it. So tonight it is reigned in and I am feeling much better. A good night.

Easter Photos 2011

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