I think I might have an idea. Who knows how you go about writing a book so I suppose I'll just begin the process and see where it goes. The working title will be "If Only". I will write about a second chance. Immortality seems like a boring droll condition to me. That is a notion I will explore in the book. There is also the notion that we are not the selves that lived out past even though we remember it as such. But writing may be a big sacrifice of time for me. Right now my time is dominated by everyone else and my possessions. I don't know how I will find the time.
Thank goodness I feel better today. There remains a little of the tiredness and sickness but it is manageable. I would really like to get up tomorrow and ride the bike a little while but it would be difficult to get out in the cold morning. I also have David's bed in the back of the truck. I need to take Nikki's TV over along with the other Christmas goodies. Maybe Thursday. In some sense I wish I had someone to talk too but in another, I really have nothing to say. I read a quote from Rocky Balboa tonight:
Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very rough, mean place, and no matter how tough you think you are, it'll always bring you to your knees and keep you there, permanently, if you let it. You or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.
I would add that life brings you to your knees, then kills you. There is no escape. Also, none of that is personal or intended in the sense that we are made to suffer by some sadistic monster. We are just participants in life where it truly is "dog eat dog". Every other organism is simply trying to preserve its own life even at the expense of our own.
