Another year gone by...

It was a year ago that I began posting on this site. I called it Bike Safari because I was using it to log the preparation for the bike ride in Florida. After the safari, I continued to post little notes about riding. Then I got the bright idea to just post whatever came to mind. Now I am sitting here just before the new year wanting to get down some ideas about how I am going to raise my fitness and lose that excess weight for the next year. Same old story. First of all, I know what must be done, I just don't want to do it. Next, I am using my food to combat my unhappiness. I have been depressed at times and compensated with the wonderful feeling food gives. My job that was so enjoyable has changed and will change more. I doubt it will be the real joy it once was especially if we don't get any more work out of the people that are there. The degree I hoped to get through Auburn is really becoming a bore. The people putting the information on the sites have been tardy for the last 3 semesters leaving me to scramble to finish. My determination has waned. Now I am looking at what I really want from life over the next year. I don't think Auburn is included.

If I can post the clues that helped me lose weight on here, maybe I can keep myself on track or at least recall how to do it. Back in 2002, I lost weight down to 36 inch waist and got as lean as I had been since college. But right now I have only a vague recall of how I got there. First there was motivation. I was trying to be lean for Sara's dance program. I forwarded it into the fall when I planned on a backpack trip. That trip fell through and my motivation was blunted by the concerns I felt because of Nikki's situation. Since then there has been lots to be heart sick over.I have also given a lot of time to other projects.

As I have been formulating my plan of attack, I have hit upon several hints. I will try to convert to water as my preferred drink. Sugar will become off limits except in fruit which should be part of each meal. Fried food is off the menu. So is bread. Each meal I will try to have some salad or soup. My exercise program will include more interval work. Red meat will be reduced. And of course no peanut butter or candy. I also need a goal. There is a Bike Ride Across Georgia in June that would be a good goal but is a long time off. The Bike Safari in Florida is sooner but no one else will be going with me. There are some century rides coming up. Maybe I can focus on some of those.

Can anyone tell me the real meaning of Christmas...

Everyone is worried that the true meaning of Christmas is lost. It seems to me that the meaning of the Holidays at this time of year have been rewritten so many times and each time the old meanings either blended or forgotten until what has resulted is a modern day masterpiece that is the highlight of our capitalistic, materialistic, consumer based system. The meaning that cannot be lost is the rush to spend, spend, spend. So much of what we call traditions are borrowed from so called pagan sources that it is impossible to distinguish which is what. Yule, Mithras, Druid, Christian, or Saturnalia. And you know what, it doesn't matter. We give it our own meaning within our own lifetime. And that is what will count for each of us.

Decisions...

The Non Traditional Pharm D program I am in took an unexpected turn recently. Despite the usual delays that go with it, it has hit a new low with the loss of Ann Janer. She represents a connection with the past. Ms. Janer taught at Auburn when I was there in the 70's. Now there is virtually no one left but those very young ones who may not have a clue where we all came from. Right now I am wondering if it is worth it. Much has changed for me since I began. It was August over 2 years ago that I applied and sent in the application. I probably have another 2 years to finish. I am wondering why? Is there much I will do with the degree. Perhaps not. Especially if I stay there at Coosa. What would I do with the time I spend worrying or preparing for that program? I am not sure. I thought I would endure at least one module before considering leaving it. Those modules may be more relevant. I hope so. If it isn't relevant, I won't be continuing.

Letters to Sara - Christmas Tradition

Here we are less than 2 weeks till Christmas. We are observing many of our traditions. Pajamas have been purchased. The presents have almost all been wrapped. Cookies and candies are made and being made. Plans for travel have been finalized. The tree sits decorated in the living room. Santa Claus and Grammy sit in front of the fire place. Everything waits for Christmas Eve. But none of this is exactly as it was for your Mother or I when we were little. My Dad didn't make much of Christmas. Oh, we had a Christmas tree but after a while it was me putting it up. The most faithful one about having a Christmas tree was my Grandmother Odessa. We would search the woods for a cedar with a good shape and cut it and drag it back home. then we would decorate it with some simple ornaments and tinsel. Sometimes we strung popcorn and put the strands around the tree. The cedar smell would fill the little house. There wasn't any waiting for Christmas morning. I remember my Dad giving me an electric train one year. I asked him if there really was a Santa Claus and he said no, the presents came from him and Mother. I must have been 4 or 5 years old. When you kids came along, I knew I wanted Christmas to be a lot more. That's why we adopted so many of those little Christmas traditions. I learned that it is anticipation that is the most fun. Waiting to see what you get was agony but a sweet agony. It is wanting things that is the fun. The having of it often isn't as great as we had hoped. I remember how you guys really enjoyed some of the simplest, most inexpensive toys. The Spot Firehouse that I brought home from the store was one of the biggest hits. Another year a small tent was the hit. It was my hope to make Christmas a mystery. Make sure you never knew everything you would get so some package would be a surprise. Giving truly is better than receiving. Getting is something of a lesser experience. It turns out that getting everything you want is the shortest path to unhappiness. I hope you appreciate Christmas. There are lots of ways to express appreciation. I believe the most meaningful way will be taking the experience and creating your own Christmas tradition and remembering Christmas times past.

Once upon a time...

Back in November of 1988, Bev, the kids, and I had a family portrait made at the home of Bobby Adamson. That makes Sara 2 years old. The photos we had made were in our van and were stolen right before Christmas. The fishing rods were stolen from our boat at that time. Why anyone would have stolen photos doesn't make any sense, but this one photo was left. It is a small photo and doesn't have a lot of definition once scanned to a large format. But it is all that was left.