Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.
Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
If I were to attempt to explain Hemmingway's position I would conclude that 'knowledge' of the workings of the world reveals to us what a dangerous place we live in. Anything from the tiny virus to crashing meteors may loom ominously over our lives. Science tells of myriad ways we may face global extinction. The daily news brings story after story of inhumanity, war, or intolerance to our doorstep. We consume a steady diet of fear from our news sources. Our consumer based society spares no expense telling us how many ways we miss the mark from not having the right look or the right clothes or the latest car or the most frenetic vacation. Although this quotation originated in the 60's, it seems especially true nowadays. The media and advertisers have had 40 years to refine their techniques and know very well how to get at our insecurities and vices. I realize now that I spent a lot of time unhappy over many of my adult years with moments of happiness interspersed. It is more surprising that I am happy now. If I have experienced a sudden decline in intelligence, it was worth it. The past few years have been unhappy ones. There was much I expected from the kids. Actually, I only expected them to seize the opportunity in much the same way I and their Mother did. Take advantage of the college experience and move forward into life with options. They haven't. The expectation of their success and the plans I had based on that path left me lost and bewildered. The length of time I foresaw it would take to go from a child/parent relationship to a your children as your friends relationship swelled farther into the future. It was/is a great sadness. But in the midst of that I Bev found a way to spend time together. It has been a blessing. Those moments when we are off together on vacation or hiking or riding the bike renew the happiness of living. These simple activities have been a saving grace to me. But I think the ability to appreciate them had to be relearned. My expectations had to be aligned with the current reality. I read a suggestion that we "
live in the moment". What exactly is that? For me it was slowing down and drinking in those times when everything seems right or beautiful. It mean't putting down what I was doing and observing. It mean't taking what we are given and making the most of it. It still takes effort. My goal is to allow myself to be in the moment effortlessly.
