Determination and goals...

Here I am again writing about being determined and trying to get that weight down again. It seems I can't keep myself motivated to bring myself to get my weight down to my ideal. I need my goals. Now I have at least 3 to keep me straight and narrow. Firstly, we will do the bike safari again next year. I also have a backpacking trip to do with Kirk. And Joe asked me to come to Hawaii with them next year. SO now I need to get a better looking build for a swim suit. Then there is also the run I have slated for February. So we've started eating right as of yesterday. I need to set a fit day. How about April 1st. Body weight 185.

Maxwell Atticus Simon

Welcome to planet Earth. The little fellow weighed in at 8lbs 2 oz and 20 inches. I don't think he appreciates the attention he was getting at the moment. This was apparently during his weighing in and bath time. This is the time that they stick the heel for some blood work. Poor little fellow. It doesn't get much better for us. The Buddha said, "life is suffering." Ain't it the truth! But there will be some pretty nice moments. Witnessing the miracle of new life is one of the better ones. I am glad to see some males coming to the family. All those years outnumbered by the women of the house have taken a toll. Now maybe we can see some manly influence for a change.

There is an African proverb that says "when death finds you, may it find you alive".

On July 31st, I died.... After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark. I became aware again after a short period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was a lengthy process to be transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.

Spock

Spock is my favorite character in all fiction. A character who bridged the gap between two worlds and faced disdain from each. Who strove for excellence and exemplified strength, character, intelligence, and control. His nearly emotionless demeanor was a perfect foil for those who would attempt to intimidate or insult him. It was a style I would endeavor to imitate to thwart those attempting to insult, demean, or scare me in my own young life. I bought this little figure to remind me to guard against letting my defenses down and allowing emotional hurt to strike me. But I doubt my recollection of Spock will work for me again. It was the last gift from my past. Perhaps I will find another reservoir of strength.

diddlee

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