The passage of time...

I was searching for something among my CD's to entertain the boys Saturday and found a recording of Nikki and Sara from 1986 and possibly a little earlier. Seeing Nikki dancing around the living room at about 18 months old was sweet. Seeing Sara as she lay there in her cradle on the first day home from the hospital made me want to pick her up. In the next clip, there was my Mom with Sara taking her first steps. 1987 - 1933 gives 54 years old. She was the same age I am now. And I was 31. Now that little one is 26. Life passes by quietly like the flow of a river. We need landmarks to be mindful of how quickly it passes. It can't be changed. We can learn how to enjoy the trip. That's the best we can do.

Maxwell Atticus Simon

Welcome to planet Earth. The little fellow weighed in at 8lbs 2 oz and 20 inches. I don't think he appreciates the attention he was getting at the moment. This was apparently during his weighing in and bath time. This is the time that they stick the heel for some blood work. Poor little fellow. It doesn't get much better for us. The Buddha said, "life is suffering." Ain't it the truth! But there will be some pretty nice moments. Witnessing the miracle of new life is one of the better ones. I am glad to see some males coming to the family. All those years outnumbered by the women of the house have taken a toll. Now maybe we can see some manly influence for a change.

There is an African proverb that says "when death finds you, may it find you alive".

On July 31st, I died.... After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark. I became aware again after a short period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was a lengthy process to be transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.

Spock

Spock is my favorite character in all fiction. A character who bridged the gap between two worlds and faced disdain from each. Who strove for excellence and exemplified strength, character, intelligence, and control. His nearly emotionless demeanor was a perfect foil for those who would attempt to intimidate or insult him. It was a style I would endeavor to imitate to thwart those attempting to insult, demean, or scare me in my own young life. I bought this little figure to remind me to guard against letting my defenses down and allowing emotional hurt to strike me. But I doubt my recollection of Spock will work for me again. It was the last gift from my past. Perhaps I will find another reservoir of strength.

diddlee

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