Yesterday I was feeling very frustrated by everything. I was totally out of sorts, frustrated by the least things, and cynical toward life. Thank goodness I recognized this for what it was and broke out of that downward spiral. I can blame it on being tired after a week-long effort finished with less than perfect sleep, but that would be too easy. It is more likely that the things I see coming ramped up my internal resistance to change and my confidence became a little shaky with respect to my ability to handle it. So tonight it is reigned in and I am feeling much better. A good night.
On July 31st, I died.... After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark. I became aware again after a short period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was a lengthy process to be transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.