The Struggle I must lose...

After months of battling with my self control, I've gained up quite a bit of weight that I shouldn't have. I've told myself that I've been eating to feel more energetic since my bout with the tick illness but I'm not sure it isn't just a case of laziness. I've grown accustomed to eating everything in sight. Normally I'm on a good path by now to lose the winter pounds but I've been unable to get myself motivated. Guess I shouldn't have waited this long but wait I have so now the process must resume. My pants are too tight. My goal last year was to lose down to 185. I had hoped that all the marathon training would help me accomplish that. I think if that illness hadn't come down on me, I might have pulled it off. I don't know if I'd have the energy to do another one. Riding bikes takes up a lot more energy without the damage running causes. Right now that's where I'm putting my effort.

Island Walk

I always try to help Rachael with Hubbard/Rockford if asked. They had me down for 3 days but at last minute asked for the other day. Work at Rockford is slow so working isn't hard, but not following my usual routine tired me out a bit. I still had some work I could take care of up in Cullman. Some bushhog work and other little items but the high temps held me back a bit. I did ride my bike a little and got in some of my walking in addition to some chores. Max needed to be delivered to Charlotte, SC for his drum major camp. I volunteered to take him. I was glad to be able to perform this chore for him but the long trip up and back combined with extra heavy traffic in the Atlanta are, which extended to within 30 miles of Alabama, combined to really tire me out. There had been a problem with my left rear wisdom tooth for over a year, so I decided I should get it taken care of before I wound up isolated somewhere in PEI. The extraction didn't appear to be problematic until just be...

There is an African proverb that says "when death finds you, may it find you alive".

On July 31st, I died.... After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark. I became aware again after a short period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was a lengthy process to be transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.

Effigy of Grief

Effigies are used in grieving by providing a tangible representation of what has been lost, allowing a mourner to connect with who or what they've lost , which can help with the process of acceptance and emotional expression, particularly when the loss is sudden or traumatic; they can be used to focus grief and memories around a physical likeness, offering a sense of continued presence even in their absence

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