Skip to main content

the reification of the zero

Image
By


I wanted to share with you about a gift I received this Christmas. You can see it at this link. I received...

.... NOTHING.

It seemed like the perfect gift for the person who has everything. It is profound. It is amazing really. Think of the most valuable thing in the world, or even the universe. Then of course, what could be more valuable, NOTHING, right! What is better than wonderful friends and a family that loves you? Uh, NOTHING? But I realize that that this stuff could be dangerous. What if someone were to eat this. I've heard of people who ate NOTHING and died! I don't know how much NOTHING it took and I really don't know how much NOTHING is in that package. I have to be concerned about handling this stuff properly. Some people think NOTHING is "sacred". What if I were to offend someone? What if it has an effect on my personality. If you asked me what could make me lie or cheat or steal or what would make me betray my sacred word? OH MY GOODNESS! NOTHING!

Then I saw it! There on the back of the package in small print it says... made in China. (I thought EVERYTHING was made in China not NOTHING?) You know this could be part of a sinister plot. First they exposed us to lead in kids toys and toothpaste, now NOTHING. That's got me spooked so right now I am looking for a good place to put my NOTHING.

___________________________________________________________________

After much thought I think the best plan is to put the NOTHING in a secure place considering the potential for disaster it represents. Looking at the package closely, I see that there is a crack in the container and now I don't know if NOTHING is in there or not. And I'm not sure how to go about catching it. Think about it, what travels faster than the speed of light? In desperation I vacuumed the whole living room and then swept a couple of times. On my last sweeping, to my great relief, I found NOTHING in the dust pan. So not taking any chances, I threw the whole thing in a trash bag, tied it up, and tossed it in the garbage can outside just to be safe. I think that should take care of it, we can all breathe a sigh of relief.


I've done my best to rid us of this menace, but if NOTHING happens to any of you in this coming year, don't come blaming me!

Popular posts from this blog

Island Walk

By
I always try to help Rachael with Hubbard/Rockford if asked. They had me down for 3 days but at last minute asked for the other day. Work at Rockford is slow so working isn't hard, but not following my usual routine tired me out a bit.  I still had some work I could take care of up in Cullman. Some bushhog work and other little items but the high temps held me back a bit. I did ride my bike a little and got in some of my walking in addition to some chores. Max needed to be delivered to Charlotte, SC for his drum major camp. I volunteered to take him. I was glad to be able to perform this chore for him but the long trip up and back combined with extra heavy traffic in the Atlanta are, which extended to within 30 miles of Alabama, combined to really tire me out. There had been a problem with my left rear wisdom tooth for over a year, so I decided I should get it taken care of before I wound up isolated somewhere in PEI. The extraction didn't appear to be problematic until just be...
Read more

Altras

By
So I've gotten around to buying those Altra Zero Drop running shoes and have begun the transition program to get used to them. My only problem so far has been that sore gluteus muscle I got from the scooter falling on me. But I've managed two days of running and will continue to extend my distance until I get up to something near the training program for the Half Marathon. I don't know if Joe has signed us up for the run or not.
Read more

There is an African proverb that says "when death finds you, may it find you alive".

By
On July 31st, I died.... After having several weeks of discomfort in my neck and jawline, I made an appointment to see my PCP to determine what was going on. The consensus seemed to center around a gall bladder problem. But he suggested that we should rule out cardiac. Once I got over to the hospital, I had a wait of 20 minutes or more before I was sent up to my room. Immediately I was taken for a chest x-ray. Once I got back I saw my nurse and the lab tech were there and I lay down to let her get the blood. As I leaned back, I felt a wave of nausea and everything went quiet and dark.  I became aware again after a short period of time, I'm unsure how long. and from there it was a lengthy process to be transported to Grandview where I received a heart catherization and ultimately, bypass grafts. It was literally like hitting the off switch on your computer.
Read more